Changes
2BCT Newsletter : The Dagger's Edge
By Sgt. 1st Class Daniel McKim
July 12, 2007
Waking up at 3 o’clock in the morning to head out to my truck and go hunting holds a different meaning here in Iraq than it does in the States. For one, my typical packing list of a shotgun, reflective safety vest, and a thermos of coffee does not help much with the conditions here. Instead of ducks, I now hunt terrorists, and as I get in my truck, I bring my rifle, tactical vest, and a block of ice that will eventually melt into the cold water I will drink while on patrol. It is funny that all of us think about what we would rather be doing; for some of us, it is drinking a beer with family members at a summer barbecue, or taking a swim with the kids at the beach. Despite the separation from our friends and family, the memories we create here are still significant. Time in Iraq moves slowly, and free time is a rare and precious commodity, but the constant support that the men show each other creates a home away from home. The men that I work with on a daily basis are at the forefront of all my thoughts here; their safety, health and welfare are my greatest concerns. But like me, I know they fight everyday to create a small world in their minds where they are ‘not a Soldier.’ This is not to say that they do not love Soldiering, it simply means that their families, friends, and stateside ways of life are among their fondest memories. Following each mission, as I walk back from the command tent, I pass through the Soldiers’ tent make sure the guys are doing well.
On any given day, I can find Pvt. Andrew Walker trying to master the latest riffs on his Guitar Hero game or Sgt. Jason Billings on his way out to call his wife. Staff Sgt. Jeremiah Brennan manages to squeeze in an afternoon nap, while Spc. Jonathon Larson continues to pursue his correspondence courses online. One fact stands out, these men, like all Soldiers deployed around the globe, have managed to forget about those long missions and the inherent dangers of being deployed, and have created a piece of home in Iraq. Even I have occasionally cracked open a book to escape the intensity that surrounds us.
But what of the families we left behind? I know that regardless of our mission, the people we left behind are still anxiously awaiting our return. Our biggest fears are the natural changes that occur during deployments. Yes, we will be gone for over a year, and yes we will adapt according to our new environment, but just as the part of our minds which remains fixated on memories of home, so too do our memories of those we left at home stay the same. That being said, we imagine that people are still the same… But we know that is not the case.
All of us have and will continue to change during such a long time away from our loved ones. I recall my last tour in Iraq when we received a redeployment briefing from the chaplain at the tiny FOB on the border of Iran that had become my home. It was time to begin to let the thoughts of combat seep to the back of my mind, and time to start focusing on redeploying and reuniting with family and friends. The changes that we underwent from being gone for so long framed every experience in a different light. As I begin to think of what the chaplain said, I realize that we have not had much contact with our families, and the simple sensors of our minds are disjointed as a result of being members of an all-male unit. Some of us surely will say a few more curse words than we did in the past, and some table manners have certainly fallen by the wayside. But these small changes can only be expected when you live, work, sleep and eat next to each other day-in and day-out in such close quarters.
Thinking back to the chaplain's words of wisdom, I am reminded that our parents, wives, children and friends will also change in many ways. Wives may undertake new careers or find new hobbies to pass the time. Children may become accustomed to different treatment from one parent when the other is deployed, and may even get away with things that Dad would not have allowed. Friends normally do a great job of staying in touch, but some have surely gotten married and started families of their own.
We are closing in on the five month mark of our deployment, and the R&R program is in full swing - roughly two soldiers per platoon (10 soldiers from the Battery) are home at any given time, visiting family and friends while getting some well-earned rest. Some plan on getting married, while others will hold their newborns for the first time. No matter what their plans, it is good to see Soldiers get this time off. The excitement they show upon their return and the stories that they bring back with them help pass the time on long patrols and never-ending guard shifts at Joint Security Station Torch.
During this deployment, each person will discover something about themselves that they did not know prior to arriving in Iraq. Some will find newfound strengths to bring home with them, while others may find weaknesses to correct while we are abroad. Some Soldiers will sustain their discipline and make the most of their time here; others may be able to embrace the many changes on home front because war has taught them to be adaptable in nature.
Iraq is an ever-changing, fast-paced world unlike anything else we will ever experience. As the war here continually changes, so too does every other part of our lives, and a phrase keeps coming to mind that I heard growing up..."Sometimes change is good, even if it’s bad."
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